Entire Family Beats Child
A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him!
After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.
After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the England Football Team , whom the boy firmly believes are not currently capable of beating anyone.
Tuesday, 27 November 2007
Friday, 16 November 2007
Guess who's back!
Whoa. I check my blog from time to time wondering why aren't there any new posts. Realised it's coz I haven't been writing any. So happens that today's the 2nd monthiversary since my hiatus back in September. Gosh does time really fly.
Fly it really does as it was also Chai Leng and I's 8th anniversary last week (HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BABY!!).
Well life's been pretty shiat lately. Have lots goin on in the background while I'm trying to straighten up coming up to exams. Thank god I've been spending the last 23 years of my life being a bumm such that I still have some study stamina to spare. Don't choke out on the final lap.
Well to be fair, things are starting to get better. I realised that life's starting to be all about making choices. Lets not even talk about making the right ones. Sometimes, having to make a choice at all is half the difficulty. Let just hope things continue to get better. And as usual, I never disappoint. Here's the joke of the month. Hope you enjoy the craic.
Two Aussie builders (Phil and Eric) are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar. The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit.
Phil: - I reckon he's an accountant.
Eric: - Nah. I reckon he's a stockbroker.
Phil: - No way. A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!
The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Phil and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the builder.
Phil: - 'Scuse me mate. No offence but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living?
Suit: - No offence taken. I'm a Logical Scientist by profession.
Phil: - What's that then?
Suit: - I'll try to explain by example... Do you have goldfish at home?
Phil: - Er... Mmm . Well yeah, I do actually.
Suit: - Well, it follows logically that you keep them in a bowl or in a pond. Which is it?
Phil: - They're in a pond!
Suit: - Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden.
Phil: - Too right - it's huge!
Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that if you have a large garden then you have a large house?
Phil: - Bloody oath I've got a big house! Five bedrooms .....built it with me own hands!
Suit: - Well given that you've built a five-bedroom house it is logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite probably married?
Phil: - Mate, I'm married to the greatest sheila on earth and we've got three great kids.
Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis?
Phil:- Yep! Four nights a week! At least!
Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate very often?
Phil: - Me? You're kiddin me right? Never!
Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!
Phil: - How's that then?
Suit: - Well from finding out that you had goldfish, I've told you about your sex life!
Phil: - Awesome, mate!
Both leave the toilet and Phil returns to his mate.
Eric: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?
Phil: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!
Eric: - What's that then?
Phil: - Lemme explain. Do you have goldfish?
Eric: - Nope.
Phil: - Well then, you're a wanker.
Fly it really does as it was also Chai Leng and I's 8th anniversary last week (HAPPY ANNIVERSARY BABY!!).
Well life's been pretty shiat lately. Have lots goin on in the background while I'm trying to straighten up coming up to exams. Thank god I've been spending the last 23 years of my life being a bumm such that I still have some study stamina to spare. Don't choke out on the final lap.
Well to be fair, things are starting to get better. I realised that life's starting to be all about making choices. Lets not even talk about making the right ones. Sometimes, having to make a choice at all is half the difficulty. Let just hope things continue to get better. And as usual, I never disappoint. Here's the joke of the month. Hope you enjoy the craic.
Two Aussie builders (Phil and Eric) are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar. The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit.
Phil: - I reckon he's an accountant.
Eric: - Nah. I reckon he's a stockbroker.
Phil: - No way. A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!
The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Phil and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the builder.
Phil: - 'Scuse me mate. No offence but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living?
Suit: - No offence taken. I'm a Logical Scientist by profession.
Phil: - What's that then?
Suit: - I'll try to explain by example... Do you have goldfish at home?
Phil: - Er... Mmm . Well yeah, I do actually.
Suit: - Well, it follows logically that you keep them in a bowl or in a pond. Which is it?
Phil: - They're in a pond!
Suit: - Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden.
Phil: - Too right - it's huge!
Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that if you have a large garden then you have a large house?
Phil: - Bloody oath I've got a big house! Five bedrooms .....built it with me own hands!
Suit: - Well given that you've built a five-bedroom house it is logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite probably married?
Phil: - Mate, I'm married to the greatest sheila on earth and we've got three great kids.
Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis?
Phil:- Yep! Four nights a week! At least!
Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate very often?
Phil: - Me? You're kiddin me right? Never!
Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!
Phil: - How's that then?
Suit: - Well from finding out that you had goldfish, I've told you about your sex life!
Phil: - Awesome, mate!
Both leave the toilet and Phil returns to his mate.
Eric: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?
Phil: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!
Eric: - What's that then?
Phil: - Lemme explain. Do you have goldfish?
Eric: - Nope.
Phil: - Well then, you're a wanker.
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